When one thinks that life has given you the right person and you only have the task of keeping your hand and love her every day but it is impossible to see how you miss the hands.
just two days ago I lost the woman I love, I looked into his eyes and said ... "I end with this." What is said at the time? How do you reply? How do you scream at that time and ask him to please not leave without losing their composure?.
I did, I decided not to pray, to say nothing I departed soul in 2 but decided against it. If she seems little everything and gave everything she did and just put in the balance both things we did wrong then it is your problem.
After the decision comes the hard part ... to accept the consequences and what are the consequences ... I do not take the time to number them because they are summed up in one. SHE IS MY LIFE!
While I'm not going to die if not, the hardest part is the process of forgetting.
then tell them (but not interested) how it goes these days as I learn to live without it. Thanks in advance for listening or reading me, it does me good to know they are there but can not see them.
Night 1:
few hours ago we decided (actually decided) that it was better that things were finished. Afraid of how things will be when we live together or have been in fact, has a thousand things to fix in his mind.
I'm torn apart, not to think about, not to do, I called just now and I apologized. It was weird because no apology for doing something that would do nothing but make me feel wrong with your decision.
not sleep, are 2,3,4,5 in the morning and head spins just me, how shall I live without it?
Nothing makes sense now, understand that their promises of eternal love are lies were lies and I believed them like an idiot. I did not sleep, do not hit your eye on all night and my head aches so.
Day 1:
sent me a message in the morning saying that tickets for the concert where we go and we want it, do not want to go ... in the end we agreed to see us on Thursday to go.
live all day on autopilot. I prefer not to think that it's not because I feel worse. But slowly things are taking shape, I do not feel so alone, I can not sit around feeling bad.
Road to a friend's house to tell my story trying to be as impartial as possible. (Which is possible because I feel that in fact both had a lot of the blame for this break)
Night 2:
The more complicated these days without it is night, when all off, I'm back to sleeping pills, the strong coffee in the morning and cravings for cigarettes (we promised not to smoke because we wanted to live long to be together, promises that seem to make sense now)
I broke on the phone ... I cried while talking to her. I claim it should not mourn, not right, I must, I must not show weakness. No, no, no.
I fell asleep while crying, like when I was little and my dad was traveling, I was sitting up in bed feeling lonely and lost.
Day 2:
Everything feels better, my body is slowly accepting the pain. In fact, it does not hurt so much. Call
time to time, I will be bringing hope?
really excited to hear me on the phone, it's like to feel that during these nearly 3 years of being together we forged a great friendship as well and she can tell me everything and I'll be there forever.
Night 3:
In the process, it is 11 pm in Lima, Peru, and do not know what will happen today. I do not sleep because I feel lonely. Still do not know how to stop mourn night. I tell you tomorrow how it goes during the day.
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